


Brighter light, dazzling light (that you are on my screen)

by CheckYourLie (svnwritten)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Idiots in Love, M/M, Pining, Youtube!Au, baekhyun is chaotic but we love him for that, chansoo are side ship, good boys in love, unrequired not so unrequired love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-02
Updated: 2020-01-02
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:28:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21825961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/svnwritten/pseuds/CheckYourLie
Summary: At the end of a long day, Youtuber Baekhyun likes to curl by the fireplace with a cup of hot cocoa while watching Youtuber Chen. One day, Baekhyun gets a message from Chen asking for a collab.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongdae | Chen, Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 45
Kudos: 288
Collections: Round 3: Autumn and Winter - On the Snow





	Brighter light, dazzling light (that you are on my screen)

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt Flake: #241  
> Author's Note: This fandom waited for baekchen youtube!au for too long and I'm here to deliver! 
> 
> Dear prompter, thank you so much for this prompt, you saved the future of youtube!aus for this fandom, hopefully you will like this fic enough to not regreat prompting this!  
> Huge shout-out for my two betas C. and S. Without them I don't think I would have a guts to post this story!

87%... 88%... 89%... 93%... 94%... 92%... 97%... 98%... 98%... 99%... 100%

_Your video has been uploaded._

Baekhyun huffed a sigh. _Finally._ He thought that this vlog would never upload. Technically, the community wouldn’t roast him if he didn’t upload it tonight but still… he promised, didn’t he? So he really wanted to see what they thought about the first scarf he had ever knitted - sue him. Baekhyun personally thought that it resembled a dead, skinny snake but he was sure that his fans would come up with a more merciless comparison but that’s what he lived for.

“You were a nightmare to make,” Baekhyun pointed at the poor scarf before reaching for his mug with cocoa.

It was his favourite moment of the week. Because while Baekhyun was a youtuber himself, it didn’t mean that he couldn’t find sweet, sweet relief from everyday life on the very platform that was a source of his income. With his video nicely edited and uploaded, he could finally fall into a familiar space of lazing around. From a youtuber he could once again become a fan. And, oh, he loved being on the “fandom” side of the internet almost as much as he loved being a creator. It quickly became the norm for him to switch accounts as soon as he was done with uploading his own video. Using his official account could cause unnecessary drama. Especially considering that one heated conversation under “People Are Taking It Too Far With Brie Larson” video...

Baekhyun’s fingers hovered over the keyboard. He wasn’t sure if he was in a mood for a “Let’s play!” or something else. He was almost ready to start looking for crazy anime theories when suddenly...

_“Chen has uploaded a video!_

_Through The Night (IU) - Chen Cover + announcement!”_

Baekhyun’s eyes crinkled. Being an evil chaotic that he was, Baekhyun didn’t have many major principles in his life except one - Chen always comes first. It hardly mattered what kind of video that was posted. Granted - most of Chen’s content were covers but every once in a while, he also posted a short vlog or even a Q&A. Apparently today Baekhyun was up for a special treat.

He was tempted to comment something encouraging before even playing the video but the “announcement” in the title gave him pause. Maybe it was an official cd with covers announcement? Chen’s fandom (Baekhyun included) had been begging for one for ages but, so far, to no avail. 

Cursing at his slow wi-fi, Baekhyun clicked “play”, letting the first tones of the melody fill the room. He knew “ _Through The Night_ ” by heart, it was actually one of his favourites by IU. Until today he thought that IU was the only one capable of singing this song so delicately, in the way that touched his soul and kissed his heart, but now, hearing Jongdae sing it made Baekhyun think that all he ever knew was a lie. 

It happened to Baekhyun way too often. Somehow, Chen managed to pull out the meaning of every song and elevated them to the next level, causing Baekhyun to shed either happy or sad tears. Watching Chen’s covers was always a complete treat. Not only was his voice utterly beautiful, but so was everything aside from that. His raw emotions, his furrowed eyebrows, his sparkling eyes. Chen was…

Chen was beautiful in every meaning of the word. Baekhyun’s crush on Chen was irrelevant when it came to that as Chen was beautiful beyond any crushes. Chen’s beauty was a common fact. Surely, there were dictionaries in which under the word “beauty” there was a picture of Chen along with his in-depth biography.

Baekhyun hugged his legs tighter to his chest, letting the song flow through his mind. The world outside may look inhospitable and cold but somehow the hot cocoa and Chen’s voice made him feel warm inside. With every tone, his body was turning more and more into a fluffy puddle of goo.

The last tunes of the melody finally died off, smoothly blending with the silence around Baekhyun. 

“Beautiful…” he whispered, watching mesmerized as Chen smiled to his mic.

The screen went black for a moment and Baekhyun shifted in his seat, squishing more into the soft pillows behind his back. His fingers were already twitching to write a comment. The colour on the screen melted from black to dark chocolate and then to even lighter shade of brown. Chen laughed behind the lens before hesitantly standing towards the camera and waving shyly at the viewer. 

_“Hi there,”_ Chen started and Baekhyun cooed internally. Despite being confident while singing, privately Chen seemed to be a rather shy person which made him even more endearing. He also had sweater paws. Ultimate sign of softness. _“First of all, thank you all for listening to my cover. I hope that I didn’t shame our queen IU with my version,”_ he laughed with embarrassment. 

“As if you could possibly shame any song with your voice…” muttered Baekhyun under his breath. 

_“Anyway, as many of you know already if you read the title of this video… I have an announcement to make!”_ Chen wahooed quietly, _“The winter is almost here and many youtubers do all kinds of funny stuff as a gift for their fans and this year… I decided to do something similar for you guys!”_ He shot a wide smile at the camera. _“So this December please expect a lot coming from this channel! I already have a vague plan and I can already confirm that not all videos I’m planning are going to be covers. My throat would probably die if I kept singing all day and night!”_ he joked lightly. _“So if you are interested in what I have on my mind, please make sure to follow me on my twitter for more updates and of course subscribe so you won’t miss out! Remember to stay warm in these cold approaching months. That was Chen for you, thank you for watching and hope to see you soon!”_

❄

Days were getting colder and colder and the weather forecast predicted the world to get snowy sooner rather than later. The windows in shopping malls were full of fluffy scarves and warm, padded coats. Usually, Baekhyun was more partial to warmer seasons but he had a feeling in his gut that this winter would be different. He could almost smell something exciting in the air. Something sweet with a tingle of spice. Like a gingerbread. 

It had been over a week since Chen uploaded his announcement and Baekhyun had been on full-on creating mode ever since then. That video was a boost of inspiration and energy that he needed. Baekhyun didn't suffer from creative block often but sometimes he had a tendency to… procrastinate more than was appropriate. But if Chen decided to give something for his fans this winter, then Baekhyun simply couldn't be worse. There was no jealousy nor competition behind it, just sheer admiration that Baekhyun had for Chen. Dedication, if you may.

He was in the middle of planning the next video (which was basically a parody of "Meet my boyfriend" video and included lots of Baekhyun's dog Mongryong) when the screen of his phone lit up. He quickly glanced at the screen and frowned at the notification. He got tons of emails coming to his mailbox every day but only a few were actual business requests and offers. 

Baekhyun sighed. 

"If it's another email from audible, I swear I'm going to lose it…" He muttered under his breath, fingers drumming against the surface of the table while the other hand grabbed the phone. 

His eyebrow raised slightly when he saw the email address. Well, that definitely wasn't audible, that's for sure. Hesitantly, he opened the email, wondering if it wasn't spam or something like that. 

However, after reading the first lines of the message, hesitance was the last thing on Baekhyun's mind. With a loud yelp, he scrolled up to check the sender once again. 

"Oh my god…" His lips moved but no sound came out. His eyes quickly scanned the rest of the email and the more he read, the paler his face turned. 

Once he finished reading, he closed the mailbox and threw himself on the couch. 

"Oh my god…" Baekhyun repeated, this time louder, before grabbing the pillow and firmly pressing it to his face. Hiding himself from the world seemed like the most logical reaction. 

A high-pitched squeak vibrated through the pillow. Mongryong barked, slightly concerned, and padded towards the couch. His cold nose nudged clenched fingers. Baekhyun gasped, surprised with the touch, and swiftly pushed himself off the couch, almost running back to the abandoned laptop. He logged onto his mailbox again and once again opened the newest email. 

" _From: kjd_chen_

_Title: An offer for a collab_

_Hello,_

_First of all, I wanted to thank you for opening this email. I'm sure you get a lot of collab propositions and I'm really happy that you still choose to read my proposition._

_The title of this email is probably self-explanatory. For the past 2.5 years, I've been running a YouTube channel under the name "Chen" (links attached below). My specialty are covers and I can proudly say that just recently my small channel has reached 2M subscribers. Because of that, I wanted to give my viewers something special this winter - a collab with another youtuber._

_I've been a fan of your youtube channel for the past few years (ever since that terrible "my dog does my make-up" video) and honestly I’d never thought that I'll ever send you an email like this. But here I am - with an offer of a collab._

_Basically what I would love to happen is for you to sing a cover of "Been Through" by EXO with me... It's a beautiful song about overcoming hardships of life knowing that your love is waiting for you… It also gives a wintery vibe, if you know what I mean? So it would be perfect._

_I've listened to your covers more than once (you should consider posting them more often because your voice is amazing) and I have a strong suspicion that our voices would melt together perfectly in that song :) I have no doubt that the final effect would be really magical._

_Please don't feel pressured to fulfill my offer. I understand that this is kind of a last-minute proposition but I was feeling very anxious about whether I should message you or not. Thank you for reading this far._

_I will be patiently waiting for your response regardless of whether it's positive or negative._

_Stay warm in these cold months!_

_Best regards,_

_Chen_."

❄

According to Baekhyun’s kitchen clock, it took Park Chanyeol exactly 15 minutes to get to his apartment after a very loud and quite incoherent phone call. The same route took Do Kyungsoo 2 minutes longer as he claimed that “it’s not the first time Baekhyun’s panic-called us”. So far Kyungsoo hadn’t found any of those situations alarming.

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here, Soo!” announced Chanyeol immediately after his boyfriend stepped into the apartment. 

“What did Baekhyun do this time?” Kyungsoo asked skeptically, hanging his jacket on the hanger and hesitantly stepping into the room. 

And his hesitance was fully justified. Baekhyun was in full panic mode. Being over-energized was always a part of his personality but right now, “over-energized” didn’t even begin to cover Baekhyun’s behaviour. He was pacing around the room at the speed of light - one moment he was whining on the couch and a blink of an eye later he was hopping on the kitchen-counter, dangling his legs. Kyungsoo and Chanyeol exchanged concerned looks. Baekhyun laughed joyfully. 

“Wow, you look really troubled, but why?” Baekhyun batted his eyelashes innocently, “It’s the best day of my life and! We! Are! Here! To! Celebrate!” Every word seemed to be followed by a large exclamation mark. 

Kyungsoo grimaced and flopped on the couch, next to Chanyeol who almost instantly hooked his long legs over Kyungsoo’s lap, taking almost the entire space. 

“Baekhyun, for fuck’s sake, sit down. My head is spinning just from watching you.” Kyungsoo rubbed his temples. Chanyeol patted his knee consolingly with one hand and grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist with the other, tugging him to sit down.

With a loud yelp, Baekhyun fell on the ground. His grin didn’t falter even for a moment, causing corners of Kyungsoo’s lips to twitch upwards in return. Baekhyun might have been an idiot but he was also his friend. His shenanigans would probably be hard to endure if Kyungsoo was on his own, but thankfully Chanyeol and his impossibly long limbs were there to hold everything together.

“Guys, I don’t know what to do,” blurted Baekhyun. Truth to be told he was barely holding himself back from giggling.

“Order a pizza!” offered Chanyeol.

“Get your life together,” provided Kyungsoo.

“Later and sounds boring,” Baekhyun waved his hand. “You have no idea what happened today!”

“You finished playing Spyro.”

“You finally lost your mind.”

“Not yet and not yet,” Baekhyun wiggled his toes, making a show of taking a deep breath. “So… do you know Chen? That youtuber?”

Kyungsoo’s eyebrows raised up, “I’ve heard his covers a couple of times. He has a great voice, that’s for sure.”

“He’s also basically Baekhyun’s idol and youtuber crush.” Chanyeol smirked, earning a firm slap at his calf from Baekhyun, “I’m correct though!”

Kyungsoo massaged his temples again. Sometimes he felt like he was babysitting two toddlers instead of hanging out with his boyfriend and his best friend.

“What about Chen?” he asked instead, wanting to cut off the possible fight as soon as possible.

“Well…” Baekhyun bit his lower lip, trying to conceal his smile. “It’s not really that big…”

He wasn’t fooling anyone. At the back of his mind, he regretted calling Chanyeol and Kyungsoo over so soon. He should have revealed the news in a different way. An engagement announcement except there would only be Baekhyun with Jongdae’s photo and video material, instead of a ring.

“Oh, come on! Just spit it out, man!” Chanyeol absently played with Kyungsoo’s fingers.

Baekhyun took a deep breath. 

“He emailed me offering a collab video!” he exclaimed quickly and went silent, letting the news sink in. Saying it out loud suddenly made everything seem much more real than it did half an hour ago.

“That’s… good, isn’t it?” Kyungsoo asked tentatively. 

“Good?” squeaked Baekhyun, turning his head to face him in slow-motion. “Good?” he repeated, rising up from the floor. “It’s great! Wonderful! Amazing! Incredible! Astonishing! It’s everything I dreamt of and so much more!” He leaned over the couch. It looked like he was hovering above both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. “I am so happy that I feel I might actually stop breathing any second soon.” his voice cracked a little bit at the end of the sentence. 

“But…?” provided Kyungsoo, firmly pushing him away.

“But… I’ve been his fan for so long… I have all of his merch and leave anonymous comments under every video…” explained Baekhyun, gesturing wildly in general direction of his bedroom.

“So you’re basically a creep.” Chanyeol grinned teasingly.

The slap at his arm that he received was fully deserved. Even Kyungsoo wasn’t going to argue about that, seeing the mixture of excitement and panic in Baekhyun’s eyes.

“I’m just a really devoted fan,” huffed out Baekhyun. “But, because of that, I’m low-key afraid that I’m going to act like an idiot.”

“At least you’re gonna be yourself,” muttered Chanyeol under his breath jokingly.

This time it was Kyungsoo who pinched him. Even Chanyeol himself knew that he deserved that. In an attempt to make up for his comment, he cleared his throat loudly.

“But you’re going to agree, right? It would be a waste if you missed such an opportunity.”

“Especially since it’s a good promotion for your own channel,” Kyungsoo reminded. “I assume that Chen would also be willing to record something for you too. You don’t do collabs often so that would certainly be entertaining for your viewers.”

Biting his lips, Baekhyun walked over to his shelf and started rearranging his Funko Pop figures. He was very proud of his growing collection.

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol started hesitantly, “Did you reply to the email yet?”

“... Maybe.” 

“Baekhyun. What did you reply with?” Kyungsoo asked sternly.

“Nothing…” 

“Baekhyun.” 

The ever-present rectangular smile was wider than ever when Baekhyun turned around to face his friends. His face, however, was pale with panic.

“I just tried being cool about this.” Baekhyun hiccuped, looking everywhere but at his friends.

“Just show us the goddamned email, Byun Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo demanded.

Later that evening, they came to the conclusion that if Chen still agreed to the meeting, they would never again talk about Baekhyun sending a meme as a response to a formal business proposition. 

Kyungsoo also banned Baekhyun from sending memes of corgis on their groupchat as a form of training.

❄

 **Tall Mean:** Rmmbr baek, try not to scream

 **Small Mean:** also ask about a video for your channel

Baekhyun slipped the phone back into his pocket. His fingers were too numb to text back anyway. Not that he would be able to compose any kind of logical sentences. Glorious, amazing, wonderful. His brain clearly refused to work today while Baekhyun was literally minutes away from meeting his idol slash inspiration slash crush. No biggie. It's not like he wanted to appear collected and worthy of Chen's trust.

The cafe - called Cloud 9 - that they agreed to meet at, wasn’t far away from where Baekhyun was but he couldn’t bring himself to go there just yet. He needed to take another breath, he needed to be on his own for a moment, he needed… to talk. 

A metaphorical lightbulb appeared over his head.

Hastily, he rummaged through the contents of his bag before pulling out his camera. It felt surprisingly reassuring in his hands. With that Baekhyun knew what to do. Without a hitch, he pressed the recording button and flipped on the screen. For many youtubers, vlogging came hard, but not for him. For him, vlogging was like taking a friend on a trip with him. He had always considered his fans as his closest family with whom he could share everything.

“Hi everyone!” Baekhyun smiled widely at the screen. Almost instantly he felt a boost of self-confidence. “As you can see today, I finally crawled out of my lair to step outside. And no, it’s not because I had to take Mongryong on a walk.” Just to show that he was indeed alone he re-directed the camera on his feet. God bless, that his legs looked great from this perspective.

“This is a very exciting day for me, I must admit that.” he hummed thoughtfully, “I can’t share the news with you just yet but if everything goes well… Well, let’s just say that you won’t be disappointed. Especially those of you who like my covers. I know that you’d love to know more but that’s all I’m gonna say!” 

He hadn’t even realized that he had already started slowly walking down the street. At this time of the day, there was hardly any crowd here so he could casually vlog and walk at the same time. An older lady on the opposite side of the street eyed him suspiciously and Baekhyun smiled at her brightly.

“Anyway, the weather’s really nice today so if you have some free time, take a walk. Make use of the last snippets of autumn while it lasts, guys,” rambled Baekhyun, successfully keeping his anxiety at the bay. “I swear last week it was so cold that I was sure it’s going to snow! Besides, you know how grumpy I can get when the temperature drops… Hopefully, this year I have something to wait for but…” he made a gesture like he was zipping his mouth shut.

Flipping another switch, he turned the camera’s lens to film the street life around him. Showing the city life was never his specialty but his followers always begged him to show them what’s around him. While Baekhyun preferred not to film his neighbourhood, he guessed that there would be no harm in shooting a few shots here.

The clock in the corner of the screen showed that he still had 10 minutes until the planned meeting and as much as he’d love to film the whole experience, he deemed it would be too much to ask. Chen was nice enough to offer him making a collab video and Baekhyun didn’t want to ruin that by shoving a camera in his face at the first meeting. Besides, as much as self-indulgent it was Baekhyun didn’t want anything to interrupt them.

He pressed the “stop” button on the camera and placed it back into his bag.

The thing was that even without the camera, Baekhyun was a very out-going person. He had that light that made people instantly seek out his company. He loved spending time at home, playing games, but he also liked hanging out with his friends and being the so-called “soul of the party”. People were drawn to him like moths to the lamp, even before he became a youtuber and - Baekhyun had to admit - he relished in that feeling. Being in the center of attention came naturally to him. So why was he so nervous about meeting Chen?

“Because you have a fat crush on him even though you’ve never met him before,” whispered a tiny voice sitting in the back of his head. Baekhyun chose to ignore that.

There were several options on how the meeting would go.

Firstly, there was a chance that Chen would turn out to be an asshole. A fuckboy with an innocent face and angelic voice who fishes pretty boys and girls with his sweet words and shy smiles. It seemed hardly possible but it was better to be prepared for that. 

But, if Chen would somehow turn out to be as equally nice as he seemed in his videos… If that was the case then Baekhyun was fucked. Positively fucked. In the best-case scenario, Baekhyun would… Who was he kidding? If in reality Chen was just like Baekhyun imagined him to be, then Baekhyun would end up in a hospital as another victim of lovesickness. 

“Only one way to find out…” Baekhyun picked up the pace. He might be anxious but he was also about to look into Chen’s eyes and see his lips curl up in that adorable smile. Like hell Baekhyun was going to miss out on that.

In the distance, he could already see the entrance to the cafe. Even from the outside it looked cozy. Just like Chen’s sweaters, hair, and smiles. Could a smile be cozy? Baekhyun wasn’t sure but he also didn’t care. Swiping a burgundy strand of hair off his forehead, he pulled the phone out of his pocket.

 **Baetch:** That’s it. I’m going to walk in.

 **Tall Mean:** afsdsfdgfh good luck!!!!

 **Small Mean:** don’t embarrass yourself more than necessary

The messages were certainly less discouraging than Baekhyun expected them to be. Maybe he would even change the names for Kyungsoo’s and Chanyeol’s contacts after all.

Mustering all his confidence, Baekhyun pushed the glass door leading to the cafe and stepped inside.

The interior was as cozy as it looked from the outside. The room was spacious and light. Cream-colored walls were covered with paintings of pastel clouds which added to the slightly dreamy atmosphere. Not all the tables were occupied but the cafe certainly wasn’t empty. Baekhyun fought the urge to bite his lower lip. It would probably crack under the pressure of his teeth. And the last thing he wanted was Chen to see him bleeding his life out from cracked lips. Looking good in front of his inspiration slash idol slash crush was just common sense.

Suddenly someone moved on their chair and then Baekhyun saw Him.

He was just as beautiful as he appeared to be in his videos. His soft-looking brown hair was tossed back, showing off his forehead and emphasizing sharp cheekbones. His eyebrows were furrowed as he tapped a pencil against the notebook but his lips were still naturally curled up. He looked divine and oh god, Baekhyun was having a seizure. That’s what it was. 

And then that wonderful human being - a man cozier than anything in the room - raised up his head as if he felt Baekhyun’s gaze on himself. Their eyes met and Chen’s lips curled up even more while his eyes formed two adorable crescents. Baekhyun tried to mirror the smile himself but he was almost sure he looked like a dying otter. And there was never a good time to look like a dying otter. 

Chiding himself internally, Baekhyun tried smiling once again and started walking towards the table as casually as he could. If Chen did notice Baekhyun's awkwardness, it didn’t make him run away, thankfully. Instead he - a little bit clumsily - raised from his seat, his smile not disappearing even for a split of a second. 

“Meeting with a youtuber for the first time is sure much easier than meeting with a tinder date. At least I can be sure how you look,” blurted out Baekhyun once Chen was close enough to hear him. 

The other’s eyebrows raised up upon hearing the admission, sparking a shadow of doubt in Baekhyun’s heart. But was it possible for him to have mistaken Chen for someone else-

But instead of asking what the hell Baekhyun meant, Chen burst into laughter so hard that he had to clench his stomach. It was a unique laugh, full of suitable “ha ha ha”s, the kind of laugh that was contagious and soon enough Baekhyun found himself laughing along.

“Well, it’s good to know that your personality on youtube isn’t much different from you in real life.” Chen chuckled, biting his lips a little bit nervously. His cheeks were tinted with the faintest of blushes. “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. I’m Jongdae.” 

“Jongdae?” repeated Baekhyun, eyes widening in surprise.

“Jongdae. That’s my name,” confirmed Jongdae. “Chen is just the name I use online. You know, to keep work separate from personal life.”

“Oh, does it mean that I’m a part of your personal life now?” Baekhyun asked without missing a beat.

The blush on Jongdae’s cheeks deepened, taking a shade of lovely rosy red. He absently started rolling the pencil lying on the table. Getting easily flustered apparently came easy to him, which made Baekhyun feel a tiny bit bolder. Teasing was his only form of defense against cute boys.

“You could say so…” mumbled Jongdae under his breath, barely looking at the other. “Do you want anything to drink?”

“Why? Your treat?” Baekhyun grinned mercilessly, fully enjoying the adorable redness of Jongdae’s ears. The next sentence was already sliding down his tongue before he thought twice about the implication. “I was under the impression that it’s an official business meeting, not a date.”

Jongdae wheezed loudly, before looking Baekhyun right into his eyes and deadpanning:

“I doubt any meeting with you can be an official one.” His voice was tender despite the attempted seriousness, additionally weakened by the playful sparkles in Jongdae’s eyes

Baekhyun laughed quietly. He was already starting to ease up. All the concerns that he could think of just a few minutes ago were long forgotten.

“You got me there, I admit.” He shrugged off his coat and hang it on the chair. “Give me a moment to order. I’ll be right back.” 

Walking away from the table, Baekhyun could almost feel Jongdae’s gaze on his back. He must have been as curious of Baekhyun, as Baekhyun was of him. But then - Baekhyun had always been his truest self on his youtube channel, while Jongdae tended to hide his personality behind the beautiful voice and soft smiles… Everything beyond that was a mystery and Baekhyun would be lying if he said that he wasn’t thrilled to see at least a glimpse of that private side of Jongdae.

Deciding that it wouldn’t look professional for him to order one of those over-sugary sweet drinks that he usually drank, he decided to get a latte. He had no idea what kind of beverages Jongdae drank but he looked like a plain green tea type. Certainly not an espresso guy like Kyungsoo, and definitely not a Starbucks special menu guy like Chanyeol. Trying to check out his theory, Baekhyun looked over the shoulder.

Yes. Jongdae looked like a green tea type of angel.

Even from a distance, it was clear as day that Jongdae was as handsome as Baekhyun thought he would be. His features which were usually smoothened by the dimmed light of lamps in his room turned out to be much sharper in the daily light. His high cheekbones could probably cut Baekhyun’s finger if he tried touching them. Not that he wanted to. His nose was perfect, too. Well-defined and looking like it was meant to be kissed. The most adorable thing, however, was that remarkable curl of Jongdae’s lips. Maybe, deep down inside, Baekhyun had been convinced that that kittenish smile was some part of “Chen’s image”. But actually, no. Not a chance of an act. Right now Jongdae looked pretty relaxed and yet the corners of his lips were still twisted upwards. Baekhyun always liked Jongdae’s mouth, but earlier he tried to talk himself through that it was only because of the beautiful voice that was coming out of it. 

Beautiful voice of a beautiful person.

Truly, life was certainly unfair, gifting Jongdae with so many assets. Who was Baekhyun to deal with all that and remain focused?

Suddenly, Jongdae’s eyes raised up from the notebook he had been writing in and met Baekhyun’s brown ones. His eyes widened slightly and almost instantly his head ducked down. Another flood of pink spilled across his cheeks and tinted his ears but this time Baekhyun wore a similar blush. 

_Getting caught on being a creep - checked._

“One latte and one green tea for Baekhyun!” announced the barista and Baekhyun quickly turned around on his heels, thankful for this poor excuse to hide his face. And, oh boy, was it burning?

Carefully Baekhyun took the mugs and started balancing them back to their table. _Their_ table. Once again he used this opportunity to avoid looking at Jongdae, fully committing on his task. He was almost sure that if he looked up and they looked at each other again, Baekhyun would straight up sprawl across the floor, spilling the drinks all around him. His lips twisted. That wasn’t a good visual. Especially in a well-put place like this one, and especially having Jongdae in the same room.

He didn’t notice, he couldn’t have noticed or maybe he chose not to notice the moment when Jongdae rose from his seat. For Baekhyun the only thing that mattered was the uneven circles on his dangerously swaying latte. Tiny waves were crashing against white walls of the ceramic mug. 

Suddenly there were hands inches away from his own and the next thing Baekhyun knew was those hands gently taking the mug away from him.

“Let me help you. I can see that you’re struggling,” murmured Jongdae with his angelic voice pulling the mug out of Baekhyun’s hands.

The whole moment happened as if it was in slow-motion. The grip on the white mug, the slight touch on Baekhyun’s thumb, the way the latte swayed in the mug. Baekhyun raised his eyes because he couldn’t do anything else. 

And Jongdae was already there, waiting to meet his eyes with the soft curl of his lips and the stars in his eyes, the kindness almost literally shining through his features.

Baekhyun thought that it was truly an interesting coincidence that he sported a tiny crush on Chen, because he wouldn’t mind falling for Jongdae in the slightest. 

❄

There are people in this world that make you feel like you fit in. Make you feel like you are the center of their world. Like you _matter_.

Apparently, aside from being devastatingly talented, beautiful and nice, Kim Jongdae was also one of these people. At least that was the very conclusion that Baekhyun came to while sitting in the bathroom of his very own flat, while said Kim Jongdae was just a thin wall away.

In his defense - Baekhyun truly believed that this turn of events was not his fault. It was all a ploy. It had to be. His first meeting with Jongdae went fantastically but they didn’t manage to cover all of their plans when Jongdae had to leave because he had some errands to run. The question slipped off Baekhyun’s tongue before he could stop himself.

“Hey, could we meet at my place next time?” he asked back then, praying to the heavens that Jongdae wouldn’t call him out of his blunt attempt to spend more time together. Because he must have - simply must have - known that they could also just arrange that through text or emails or whatever.

But Jongdae, being merciful to Baekhyun’s already mochi-soft heart, eagerly agreed to that idea. He even dared to ask if it wasn’t too much trouble. Preposterous. As if it wasn’t one of Baekhyun’s wildest dreams. 

Ultimately Baekhyun won by pulling the “I have a cute puppy that wants to meet you at home” card. 

Besides, it’s not like he lied - Mongryong really liked Jongdae’s voice (almost as much as his owner). 

“Get a grip, Byun Baek,” Baekhyun hushed at his reflection. He was not going to freak out about his crush, spending time with him. Alone. He was long over that awkward phase. 

Baekhyun confidently stepped out of the bathroom and padded to the living room where he left his guest. Somewhere deep down, he was a tiny bit afraid of Jongdae snooping around and accidentally finding evidence of Baekhyun’s not-so-healthy admiration for him. He felt sick from that thought. But of course Jongdae wouldn’t do anything like that and it probably didn’t even cross his mind to do so. He was exactly where Baekhyun left him - sitting on the floor, back turned away from the entrance and playing with Mongryong, who didn’t even yelp at Baekhyun when he walked into the room. Not that Baekhyun was mad about it. He would most certainly not give a flying damn about anything else if Jongdae were ruffling his ears either. It was scary really, how domestic and soft one person could look. One person should only be able to contain a certain amount of warmth within themselves, yet Jongdae was an endless source of this warmth. Maybe he even invented it back when he was an angel in the sky - it could be the truth and Baekhyun wouldn’t even be surprised. 

“So that has been your plan all along, huh? Come to my house and make my dog fall in love with you?” Baekhyun teased, leaning against the wall.

Jongdae appeared to be unaware of him coming earlier because he jumped slightly on his spot, before turning around to shoot Baekhyun a blinding smile. The type that made knees melt down almost completely. 

“Ah, you got me!” Jongdae’s eyes crinkled up into two crescent moons. “That was my nefarious plan from the beginning. Winning over your dog and disappearing forever,” he added, his fingers running through the fur on Mongryong’s neck. 

Baekhyun could have sworn that his own puppy wore the smuggest expression ever. Just as if he knew that Baekhyun would sell his soul to be in Mongryong’s spot at this moment. 

“To be honest I always wondered if Mongie is as cute as he is in your videos.” Jongdae continued, seemingly unaware of Baekhyun’s inner turmoil. “I must admit, even though I do enjoy seeing you hanging out with Kyungsoo and Chanyeol, nothing can beat your dog. Maybe it’s because you two are so similar…” 

“Ah, is that so?” Baekhyun mused cockily and sat on the floor next to Jongdae. It didn’t escape his attention that Jongdae moved away. “I bet that I’m much cuter than Mongryong though. And I sit whenever you ask me to.” 

Jongdae snorted audibly. He was doing that a lot, Baekhyun noticed. He had never thought that someone snorting could be that adorable. A sound that was between “almost laughing” and “barely holding back the riposte”. 

“Mongie can sit on my lap though,” pointed out Jongdae and pulled Mongryong closer.

“That’s nothing I can’t do.” Baekhyun shrugged with a very pleased smile. 

Behind his half-lidded eyes, he saw the way Jongdae’s face went blank for a moment. It lasted only for a second before the corners of his lips curled up even more than usual and he looked Baekhyun right in the eyes.

“Well, I’d be scared that you’d break bones in my thighs.” Jongdae smirked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“You asshole.” Baekhyun gawked at Jongdae, surprised. He didn’t expect the other to strike back so smoothly to the point that Baekhyun didn’t know what to say. 

If this was a date… If this was a date, Baekhyun, instead of uttering a weak “you asshole” would tell Jongdae that they were a perfect match because Jongdae was clearly meant to sit on Baekhyun’s lap, rather than the other way around. And then Baekhyun would wrap his fingers around Jongdae’s waist, slipping under the hem of his sweater and he would pull Jongdae closer and-

Baekhyun shook his head abruptly before more images were to come into his mind.

This was _not_ a date.

He cleared his throat and glanced at the still smirking Jongdae. He looked too perfect to be real, but like that - relaxed on Baekhyun’s floor and smiling to himself - he seemed to be a little bit more within Baekhyun’s reach.

“So, we should also prepare a video for your channel. Any ideas?” Jongdae asked as if he hadn’t awe-struck Baekhyun just a few seconds earlier. His fingers curled up and - behold - he made sweater-paws. Baekhyun might not survive this.

“I was thinking maybe a challenge or something like that?” Baekhyun desperately tried to tear his gaze away from those pale fingers peeking under the hem of the sweater. 

Jongdae hummed thoughtfully, looking completely enwrapped with Baekhyun’s idea. 

“What about one person sings any part of a song that they could think of and the other guess the song title and the band or soloist? That could be fun…” He opened his laptop that was lying nearby and instantly started typing. Whatever he was typing, the result seemed to be positive because Jongdae nodded, smiling with contentment. “The lyrics don't even have to be entirely accurate. That would make the game even more fun. What do you think, Baekhyun? It may take a while to film but…”

Baekhyun grinned so widely that he could feel the cold air on his gums. 

“That's a great idea and I totally won’t mind spending more time with you,” he commented cheekily. 

Jongdae’s embarrassed fumbling was totally worth it.

❄

Three days. That’s exactly how many days there were left until Baekhyun would see Jongdae again. Three days to a Sunday that was subtly highlighted in the calendar in the kitchen. The highlight, however, was not subtle enough to escape Kyungsoo's notice.

“Counting down the days till you can see that youtuber of yours? God, you got it bad, didn’t you?” commented Kyungsoo, as he hooked his legs over Chanyeol’s lap. 

“I was afraid that I’d forget,” Baekhyun huffed, setting the snacks down on the table. 

“Oh sure, because you are such a busy person.” Chanyeol grinned, already monopolizing one of the bowls filled with popcorn. “So how was he in real life? Anything close to what you imagined?” A couple of crumbs fell on Kyungsoo’s legs as Chanyeol munched the popcorn.

Baekhyun sank his teeth lightly into his lower lip, trying to stop himself from smiling. Judging by the disgusted expression appearing on Kyungsoo’s face, he did not succeed.

“Well, Jongdae is… he’s basically just the way he is when he sings but softer. He’s like…” Baekhyun hums, making a chaotic gesture in the direction of the window, “Just knowing that he’s out there, makes me wanna believe in humanity again… At the same time I feel like there’s still a big part of him that I don’t know! I feel like he reveals something new about himself every time. Not just by what he says, but also the way he acts and let me tell you, wow. Just wow.” 

“Whipped.” Chanyeol nodded, confirming his earlier suspicions. 

“Very whipped.” Kyungsoo flicked the crumbs off his legs and intermittently shot Chanyeol an annoyed glare. “So, do you plan on acting upon that unavoidable crush?”

That wasn’t something that Baekhyun was prepared to talk about. Sure he had thought about that, even if it was just wishful thinking but he couldn’t figure out how he would bring it up to Jongdae. Sweet, sweet Jongdae who - as far as Baekhyun knew - could be completely straight. He probably was straight. Just because he was soft and looked like a cloud incarnate, didn’t mean that he swung _that_ way.

“Not this early that’s for sure,” Baekhyun exhaled loudly. Suddenly his fingers appeared much more interesting than Chanyeol and Kyungsoo. “I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’ve been his fan for so long or the fact that Jongdae’s the way he is but I don’t want to bang into his world with a huge I-might-have-a-very-gay-crush-on-you banner. The last thing I want is to scare him off or just put him in an uncomfortable situation.” 

He didn’t expect this conversation to escalate so quickly. He was prepared for some teasing and a couple of jokes, not him sulking over the fact that he didn’t even know how to approach Jongdae over the subject.

Chanyeol whistled loudly, “I think this is the first time when Byun Baekhyun adjusts his flirting methods. Willing to admit that they were terrible from the beginning?” 

Kyungsoo snorted.

“Excuse me my methods are impeccable, just because I grew up with you doesn’t mean that we are equally bad at it,” Baekhyun bridled up. “Jongdae is simply special. I don’t plan on asking him out or anything unless he gives me a clear message.”

“How noble of you.” Kyungsoo wiggled on his seat. “I can’t wait to find out what classifies as a ‘clear message’ in your dictionary though. Because to me, it seems like him still willing to talk to you after getting to know you a little bit more is clear enough of a message.” 

“The moment he sends Baekhyun a meme, it’s settled,” Chanyeol declared, munching popcorn blatantly. “That’s what I did with Kyungsoo and look where we are now!” he gestured at the almost non-existent space between them.

“We’re on the verge of breaking up if you keep spitting popcorn at me,” deadpanned Kyungsoo, gently pushing his boyfriend away.

Baekhyun smiled fondly at his friends. It was just pure assumption but he felt that Jongdae would fit into this group just right. He would make them perfectly balanced. It was almost too easy to imagine - hanging out together on Friday evenings, watching movies and commenting on every scene. Then, when Kyungsoo and Chanyeol left, Jongdae would stay with Baekhyun and they would cuddle like there was no tomorrow. Maybe one day Baekhyun would dare to press his lips against Jongdae’s temple and maybe Jongdae would beam at him and Baekhyun would press his lips to feel that smile and that would be the best thing he had ever tasted.

❄

Byun Baekhyun deemed himself prepared for the recording. He nailed everything - the lyrics, the outfit, even his hair was co-operating with him for once. His emotions, however? Not so much. But nobody was perfect, let alone Byun Baekhyun and he wasn’t going to let a minor inconvenience - crushing on Jongdae - stop him from being professional. Everything had already been set in Jongdae’s tiny studio which was just as tiny as it looked in his videos and, _behold,_ it seemed like they were going to stand extremely close while singing. 

Nothing romantic in that, of course. Just two bros, singing a romantic song as the snowflakes start covering the world outside. 

“Baekhyun, do you want to take one final look at the lyrics?” Jongdae tilted his head and pointed at the sheets of paper lying on the table. 

_No, but I’d love to take one more look at you. Preferably a look that would last till the end of time._

“Not really, but I wanted to ask about the line distribution once more…” Baekhyun leaned over to read the lyrics. 

He had no problems with lyrics nor with line distribution. Jongdae - being the sweetest person on earth - took care of everything himself and all that was left for Baekhyun to do was to learn it all by heart. Which he did happily. However, it didn’t change the fact that he had one problem. 

Today was the recording day. This ultimately meant that as soon as they were done, there wouldn’t be any reason for Jongdae to hang out with Baekhyun. Because why would he really? Sure, in Baekhyun’s humble opinion, they did click with each other instantly but it didn’t mean that it was the beginning of an everlasting friendship. Jongdae had his own world and it was possible that he didn’t want Baekhyun to be part of it.

Of course, Jongdae mentioned more than once that he was a dedicated subscriber of Baekhyun’s channel but not everyone had a desire to hang out with their favourite youtubers. Maybe Jongdae came to the conclusion that he preferred watching through the silver screen, more than actually being a part of Baekhyun’s life? It was possible, logical even and Baekhyun couldn’t even be mad if that was the case.

Yes, the anxiety was eating Baekhyun alive. Although he wasn’t afraid of not knowing the lyrics, he was scared that because of these foolish intrusive thoughts, he wouldn’t be able to pour his heart into the song. He would never forgive himself if he destroyed all of Jongdae’s hard work because of his dumb crush.

He didn’t expect that all of these fears would go straight through the window, the moment Jongdae started to sing. God bless, the camera was still off because Baekhyun certainly didn’t want anyone to see the expression he wore when Jongdae hit the first notes. The expensive microphone and loudspeakers didn’t give Jongdae’s voice justice _at all_. 

Baekhyun gaped at Jongdae with his mouth wide-opened. If Jongdae was a mermaid, he would jump straight into the ocean himself, even if it meant sacrificing his soul. Unfair how someone could turn up even more entrancing. 

“Baekhyun?”

The melody kept filling the room.

“Baekhyun?”

_Oh shit._

A wave of heat crawled up on Baekhyun’s cheeks. He was so enwrapped in listening to Jongdae that he forgot that it was a duet. And that he was the other half of it.

“Sorry.” he apologized weakly, “I just…I didn’t…”

Jongdae’s lips curled up at the corners, deepening the cheeky kitten effect. Baekhyun would swoon if he had any sanity left.

“Forgot your lyrics after all?” 

Oh, Baekhyun wished that was the issue.

“No… I mean, yes. Maybe. A little bit. I forgot that it was a duet!” Baekhyun laughed nervously, “I’m used to watching you sing solo and I kind of… I forgot that I’m here to sing, not listen. I’m so-so sorry.”

“Just how often do you listen to my covers, Byun Baekhyun?” Jongdae laughed, pressing the ‘stop’ button on the player.

_Way too often._

“I came prepared!” Baekhyun blurted, trying not to think too hard about how nicely Jongdae’s eyes sparkled. 

“Prepared? Well, aren’t you a sweetheart for forcing yourself to watch my channel for the sake of a mere collab?” Something verging between teasing and spicy hang at the ending part of the question. Baekhyun decided that he liked that.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.” Baekhyun crossed arms over his chest. The warmth on his cheeks was getting unbearable. 

“I know it?” Jongdae quirked up his eyebrows and took a step forward. In a tiny space like that, it meant that he basically backed Baekhyun to the wall.

For a moment, the softness Jongdae usually displayed disappeared under the faint layer of amusement. Like snow that was slowly covering the rooftops outside - it was soft but paradoxically made Baekhyun feel warmer inside. 

“You know that I like you... I mean your voice.” Baekhyun sputtered helplessly, hoping that Jongdae wouldn’t hear how loud his heart was beating. “But you too! I like you a lot, you’re a fun person!”

 _Fun person._ _Fucking fun person. It was like saying that Santa Claus is "chill dude". Technically true but didn't even begin to cover who he was._

Jongdae let out breathless laughter, the one that pulled his eyes into crescents and tinted his cheeks with baby pink. It’s endearing beyond any measurement. Shaking his head as it was hard to believe in what Baekhyun had just said, Jongdae stepped back and leaned his frame against the window. Despite the silence that stretched between them, the blush on his cheeks was gradually deepening but perhaps it was just Baekhyun’s imagination. Or maybe he was just that embarrassed with what Baekhyun said.

Their eyes met for a split of a second before both of them ducked their heads down.

“It seems that it’s going to snow today,” Jongdae noted absently, looking out of the window. 

Baekhyun hummed in reply, trying to calm down the beating of his own heart.

“It’s perfect weather for recording after all.” He added after a couple of minutes. He had to restrain himself from sighing in relief as his voice didn’t waver at all. “It would be a waste if we didn’t finish today.”

Jongdae looked at him, his eyes attentive but still a tad shy. 

“Fair enough,” he nodded after a moment. He tapped the mic delicately and adjusted the height. Baekhyun had no idea why he did that as nothing had changed over the last couple of seconds. “Let’s try again. This time try and focus on your voice, instead of mine.” suggested Jongdae, motioning Baekhyun to come closer.

❄

Baekhyun would not be disappointed with the fact that Jongdae couldn’t meet on the day they uploaded their collab videos.

“I am not disappointed.” he stated, staring sternly at Mongryong as if the poor dog was the reason behind Jongdae’s absence. 

_Unless..._

“If you tried harder, I’m sure he would gladly come here today,” Baekhyun pouted and leaned down to fluff Mongryong’s ear. 

He had never been that anxious to post a video. For once it didn’t take hours to upload. As if the internet - just like Baekhyun - believed that Jongdae’s delightful laugh should be seen by the world as soon as possible. Baekhyun had no doubts that his subscribers would love the video. In fact, they were most likely already watching it. Baekhyun would usually stalk his most dedicated fans to check their reactions but this time he couldn’t bring himself to do that. Just like he couldn’t bring himself to watch Jongdae’s video. 

The notification kept hanging in the corner of Baekhyun’s screen.

_“Chen has uploaded the video!_

_Been Through (EXO) - Chen cover ft. Baekhyun”_

“Come here Mongie,” Baekhyun sighed, trying not to stare too hard at the miniature next to the video’s title. Even on a photo that small, he could clearly see that his head was turned to Jongdae. “We’re gonna take a nice, long walk and hope that we will come back less stressed.”

With a quiet ding, his phone announced a new message.

 **Small Mean:** Dude, have you seen the comments under your new video???

 **Small Mean:** The one with Chen!?!?!

Baekhyun didn’t bother to type the reply. He didn’t expect for Kyungsoo to understand. That it was too much. That maybe it was the record of his very last meeting with Jongdae after Baekhyun spooked him off. Yes, he had to admit - the atmosphere was much lighter once they finally sang the song together perfectly. The pressure in Baekhyun’s chest had eased by then and the shyness in Jongdae’s eyes faded as soon as he turned off the mic. They ordered some takeout and once again Jongdae made Baekhyun feel like he was wanted and a desirable addition. Because that’s how Jongdae was - Baekhyun thought - no matter what, he didn’t want for Baekhyun to feel awkward.

Personally, Baekhyun rated their video for his own channel as “natural and fun”. Recording it was fun too. A good memory. A perfect closure. The occasional glances he threw at Jongdae were - in Baekhyun’s humble opinion - much more subtle and less frequent. Jongdae was different too. When he wasn’t singing, his slightly mischievous side was showing through various jokes and immense teasing. Baekhyun absolutely loved that.

 _It’s easier to handle having a crush on someone when you don’t sing romantic songs together. -_ That just seems like common sense but apparently it was something that Byun Baekhyun needed time to digest. 

Baekhyun abruptly shook his head, his cheeks heating up.

“So. A walk. Don’t you just love a good, long walk, Mongie?” he asked, smiling crookedly at the dog. Suddenly an image of Jongdae playing with Mongryong flashed through Baekhyun’s head. 

“That’s not the visual I needed,” he grumbled to himself before opening the door.

What Baekhyun didn’t take into consideration was the weather. Not only Mongryong clearly didn’t enjoy the snow under his tiny paws but also the longer they wandered, the darker with heavy clouds the sky grew. Baekhyun bit his cheek. So even the weather was determined to make Baekhyun face the results of his actions and what came after. Left with no choice, he had to return home early.

“Heartbreak. That is what comes after,” Baekhyun whined, ruffling his snow-tinted hair. Jongdae didn’t have any more reasons to see Baekhyun anytime soon and the videos they posted were just the grand finale of the big nothing that they had.

Trying to find a distraction in his own house was a tremendous challenge. Usually, at times like this, Baekhyun was either editing his videos or binge-watching Jongdae’s channel. The notification was still visible in the right corner of the screen. 

_“Chen has uploaded the video!_

_Been Through (EXO) - Chen cover ft. Baekhyun”_

'There was no running away from it, was it?’ Baekhyun looked at Mongryong whining at him from his lap.

“Come on, Baekhyun. Be a big boy. Watch the video and be fucking grateful for the fact that you could just stand there next to Jongdae and sing with him,” Mongryong would say if he could speak.

The screen of his phone lit up showing Chanyeol’s dumb photo. Great. Baekhyun firmly pressed on the red icon, praising himself internally for not smashing the screen. It was an expensive phone after all. Seconds later the phone lit up again. This time a message flashed across the screen. 

**Tall Mean:** Read the comments under your videos, you dipshit

Baekhyun sighed and threw the phone on the couch. He rubbed his eyes and before he knew it, his fingers were moving of their own accord, clicking at the notification. 

The first soft tunes of _Been Through_ filled the room.

They sounded good together. He had to admit that. However, it wasn’t their singing that he was most afraid of. It was the way they looked at the recording. The way Baekhyun glanced at Jongdae every time he finished singing his line, the way Baekhyun’s face lit up whenever Jongdae looked back at him and the way they smiled at each other during the last lines of the song. 

Baekhyun looked so whipped, that much was clear and it would be a miracle if Jongdae didn’t notice that while editing. Unless he knew about his crush earlier. That would just be embarrassing. Eyebrows furrowed, Baekhyun fixed his gaze at the screen. Jongdae was smiling, looking at Baekhyun with half-lidded eyes while Baekhyun was grinning at him like the idiot that he was. Something twisted in Baekhyun’s chest when he realized just how cute they looked, how domestic, how _fucking_ cheesy it would be if one of them leaned forward to kiss the other’s cheek.

But it didn’t happen. It didn’t happen back then and it would not happen in the future. That silly dream would remain Baekhyun’s fantasy forever, coming back every night to haunt his dreams. 

It was a good cover. A good, solid cover. Chen’s voice was as enchanting as always and Baekhyun appeared to fit right into the mood of the song. A decent video, yes. Under any other circumstances, Baekhyun would be beyond proud.

Tipped by Kyungsoo’s text and his own stinging curiosity, Baekhyun scrolled down to the comment section. The top pinned comment belonged of course to Chen.

**_CHEN_ **

_> > Hi everyone! Woah, this was my first collab ever and I have to admit that the effect completely exceeded my expectations! Some songs simply sound better when you sing it in a duet, am I right? Not to mention that somewhere between the lines, I had an incredible opportunity to meet Baekhyun who is, by the way, a wonderful person! I certainly hope to record more covers with him in the future _ _ㅋㅋㅋ_

_Hopefully you like the cover as much as I do!_

_Thank you for listening and don’t forget to check the collab we did for Baekhyun’s channel!_

_Chen._

Baekhyun didn’t even try to fight off the grin that was slowly blooming on his face as he read. So in the end, not everything was lost after all! Chen even hinted on wanting to record more covers with him which was more than Baekhyun hoped for. Especially since the latter failed to mention that during their last meeting.

Encouraged by the first comment, Baekhyun scrolled down to check the viewers’ feedback. It wasn’t bad, right? Maybe he was simply overreacting earlier. Surely, people would be mostly focused on their vocals instead of Baekhyun’s painfully pining glances.

**Chen’s Nation Unite**

>>LOVED THE COVER, CHENNIE! As expected of our vocal king!!! And a collab with Baekhyun on top of that? A-ma-zing! I want more!!

**Chenist1 <3**

>>I know right?? They sound SO PERFECT TOGETHER. 

**RottingPotato**

>>And they are both so cute, ahhhh

**Yaoi4Life**

>>I could ship them! Talented couple is what we need

**ChenNoticedMeOn4thApril2018**

>>well, chen’s the cutest baby on the earth, i wouldnt be surprised if baek fell for him

**__VocalKing__**

>> I’m melting! Our Chen did so well! 

**ExoForThePresident**

>> Gr8 choice of the song, decent cover. Chen killed those high notes. Still prefer the original version thooo :))

**Crystal_Queer__**

>> Excuse me but am I the only one getting slightly gay vibes here?? I mean dont get me wrong the song was great but the way the other guy (baekhyun?) is looking at chen is just so…

**Chenchenfgh**

>>OMG, I KNOW RIGHT

**HyunBaeks**

>>guys, guysss, you gotta watch the other vid! The feeling is totally mutual istg!!!!

**Not_Mean_Soo**

>>:eyes emoji: so whipped

Feeling all kinds of hot, Baekhyun quickly turned off Chen’s cover to open his own video. He didn’t even bother watching it, scrolling to the comments immediately. His face paled. Compared to the comments under this video, fans’ messages under Chen’s upload of their cover were almost timid.

**BaeeekYUM**

>>Can someone clarify this to me: ARE THEY A COUPLE? I mean all of us know that Baek’s bi and this guy is just so soft and the way he smiles at Baekhyun???? 

**FreshAvocadoo**

>>I can totally see this being truth!!! 

**Baebitch**

>>THEY ARE MARRIED!

**FreshAvocadoo**

>>wait realyl?

**SimoneTheStar**

>>they are so dorky and cute, I absolutely adore them! I could watch them bicker for hours! Finally someone who can keep with w/ baekhyun’s sense of humor <3

**WhoopsOn**

>> I second it!

**CanadianGalaxy**

>>i third it, they are a match even in terms of height! 

**Baekchennngh**

>>possible new ship?: baekchen??????

**VeryVeryBored**

>> lovin’ the name

**ItriedGrowingaMoustache**

>>all baekhyunists can sleep well now knowing that bh is getting that-that good dick every night

**YouMoustacheSucks**

>>r yu bblind?? Obvisly, baek is the top

**IAmMoustache**

>>they switch

**Beard0_1**

>> intellectual.

**Xiuweetest**

>>not sure whom i ship more: baekchen or the facial hair polyamory going on in the comments section

**Not_Mean_Soo**

>>i heard that bh used to be a fan of chen

**TallBoy-SmallSpoon**

>>called it

**Mongryeong’sFan**

>>wait,,,,,, isn’t the tiny friend of baekhyun called ‘soosomething’? Or ‘somethingsoo’? Byungsoo? Chansoo? Gyungsoo?

**Not_Mean_Soo**

>>coincidence :)

**Not_Mean_Soo**

>>also he’s not tiny

**TallBoy-SmallSpoon**

>>he’s name is Kyungsoo uwu. And yes, he is tiny, that’s so cute <3

Baekhyun took in a deep breath and closed the tab. His mind was empty, his eyes screamed something akin to “I hope that ground will swallow me tomorrow” and cheeks were hot with the blood rushing under his skin. With surprising, and terrifying, confidence Baekhyun chose Chanyeol’s number from his contact list and pressed ‘call’. 

_“Hello?”_

“Chanyeollie? Hi,” Baekhyun smiled sweetly to the phone. “Calling to ask you to pass a note to Kyungsoo. Let him know that he doesn’t have to worry about being too lonely because as soon as I strangle him, I will dig my own grave and lay there until my last breath which won’t be too long because I’ve already started choking with embarrassment.”

_“Wait, what? Byun Baek-”_

“That would be all, thank you. Chanyeollie.”

❄

In the end, Byun Baekhyun didn't murder Kyungsoo in cold blood. Maybe it was because he found last shreds of decency in himself or a more likely reason is that a few days later, Baekhyun received a text that sent him on the very cloud nine.

Jongdae wanted to meet again. Praise the lord.

Baekhyun didn’t dare to ask if he had seen these obnoxious and a little too on-point comments. As far as he knew - Jongdae rarely read comments, claiming that it was too stressful for him. Therefore, it was more than very likely that he had no idea that by now, the so-called “baekchen” army was much bigger than Baekhyun could possibly expect. He only prayed that none of the fans decided to hit up Jongdae about that issue personally… Baekhyun shuddered, pulling off his god-be-damned green scarf. He really should get himself a new normal scarf. 

This time, the walls of Jongdae’s tiny apartment felt suffocating. The noise of a whistling kettle was bursting Baekhyun’s eardrums. The sheer warmth of the place was clinging to his skin like a disease. Baekhyun was torn between feeling like he was in heaven and feeling like he was about to die.

“Are you okay?” Jongdae’s head peeked out from behind the corner. He looked mildly concerned.

Baekhyun sent him the brightest smile he could muster. It wasn’t hard, not really, his lips always stretched in a smile whenever he was around Jongdae. “Of course, just give me a moment.” 

The reply seemed to satisfy Jongdae as seconds later he disappeared back in the kitchen, leaving Baekhyun all to himself. He could feel the corners of his lips dropping instantly, anxiety overtaking his body once again. 

_“Jongdae doesn’t know and even if he knows, he doesn’t mind it.”_ he chided himself mentally for the hundredth time. _“He could have cut the ties easily but he didn’t. Chill the fuck out, Byun Baek. Calm down and control yourself, man.”_

Turned out that it was easier said than done. Especially when Jongdae pulled Baekhyun to the tiny couch in his living room and sat right next to him. It would be all fun and games if Jongdae’s elbow and hips weren’t practically pressed to Baekhyun’s. Who would have thought that the cushions took so much space? Jongdae’s body was much warmer than a mug of hot chocolate. The mug of chocolate that Baekhyun was desperately cradling in his hands when he tried not to think about cradling Jongdae’s hands. Or Jongdae’s face. Or Jongdae’s ridiculously slim waist. 

Baekhyun seriously needed to chill.

“So Jongdae,” he started taking a sip of his chocolate, cursing at its hotness. “How have you been?” Baekhyun mentally patted himself for the question.

_Because he could have asked a more awkward question. In theory. Like asking Jongdae if he would marry him. That would definitely be more awkward._

But naturally, instead of openly cringing at Baekhyun’s awkwardness, Jongdae only laughed at the terrible attempt at small talk. His laugh was as loud and unburdened as always. It made Baekhyun’s stomach flip pathetically. He was that deep.

“I’ve been good, pretty good, Baekhyun.” Jongdae’s eyes crinkled as he looked at the other behind his mug of chocolate. With one of his remaining brain cells, Baekhyun realized that Jongdae’s mug depicted a scene from one of his favourite webtoons. With another brain cell, Baekhyun registered that tiny marshmallows were almost touching Jongdae’s lips, reminding him of small fluffy clouds. Baekhyun carefully stored this visual in his ‘you’re in love, you dipshit’ drawer at the back of his mind. 

Trying to muffle the sound of his pounding heart, Baekhyun shifted on the couch and, _oho, wrong move_ , because he suddenly finds himself pressed even more into Jongdae’s side. He was pretty sure that the last time he saw Jongdae, his body at least had the decency to act normally. That particular trait apparently vanished into thin air the moment Baekhyun started contemplating how cute ‘baekchen’ actually sounded. 

“Our videos did well if I’m not mistaken.” Jongdae hummed, clearly missing out on Baekhyun’s inner breakdown (who is currently trying to explain to his aching heart that the blush on Jongdae’s cheeks was nothing more than his imagination). “I tried keeping tabs on the views, which I usually avoid, but I swear it was hard to overlook how my subscriber counter skyrocketed!” 

Baekhyun nodded mindlessly, wondering if Jongdae by any chance would like to skyrocket with him into space. 

“I suppose I owe you thanks for that. I really didn’t expect that this collab would help me expand the audience so much.” Jongdae continued, a tad too fast to come across as natural. “Honestly, I just…” His breath hitched, causing Baekhyun’s attention to redirect back on earth. Jongdae laughed awkwardly, hiding behind his mug once again. He shyly looked at Baekhyun behind his marshmallows and Baekhyun’s heart _longed_. 

Instead of taking Jongdae’s mug and pressing their lips together, Baekhyun nervously sipped his own chocolate. It tasted almost bitter on his tongue. 

“Well, if I were, to be honest…” Jongdae trailed off, suddenly looking anywhere but Baekhyun. The tips of his ears reddened. “When I sent you that email, I wasn’t really thinking about expanding my audience at all. I just… I just wanted to meet you, I think. Pretty egotistical reason.” 

Baekhyun’s eyes widened and - trying to prevent himself from saying something embarrassing (like “you’re a genius and I love you”) - he took another long sip of his hot chocolate. He realized that along with the liquid, he had stuffed his mouth with marshmallows the moment he started choking on the soft sugary sponge. 

“Khh,” wheezed Baekhyun, putting the mug down and hoping that he would not drop dead because of some freaking marshmallows in front of his crush.

Unpleasant and mildly lethal. 

Jongdae was right by him in the split of a second, his hand settling between Baekhyun’s shoulder blades, while the other gently rubbed his thigh. Baekhyun wheezed harder. Compared to the warmth of Jongdae’s hands, marshmallows were an unworthy opponent for Baekhyun’s body and soul.

“Oh shit,” spluttered Baekhyun, gulping the marshmallows down.

The air whizzed wildly in his lungs but that was fine. If Jongdae was to be the cause of his death, Baekhyun would die in peace. The pressure between his shoulder blades suddenly increased as Jongdae started tenderly patting the spot. It was unfair how everything Jongdae did could be described as “tender”. Baekhyun’s hand clenched at his own sweater as he felt the other leaned closer. Gods had no mercy on Byun Baekhyun tonight it seemed.

“Oh my, my,” Jongdae murmured, continuously rubbing Baekhyun’s tight shoulders. “Deep breaths, Baekhyun. In and out, in and out.” 

From the corner of his eye Baekhyun noticed the slightly, concerned furrow of Jongdae’s eyebrows and the compassionate shimmer in his brown eyes. _Shit. He was close, wasn’t he?_ Baekhyun sharply drew in a breath, purging away the second-hand embarrassment to the deepest recesses of his stomach. He would take care of that later. 

“Thanks, I’m better now.” Baekhyun rasped, blindly grasping the pillow lying nearby. 

Jongdae’s eyes narrowed, deepening his resemblance to a cat - currently a very skeptical-looking cat. It looked like he wanted to say something so Baekhyun - being the incredible listener that he was - dropped his gaze to Jongdae’s lips, ready to memorize every syllable. It seemed like the right thing to do. However, instead of parting in a question or a comment, Jongdae’s lips curled-up ever so slightly, corners twitching upwards mischievously.

Baekhyun quickly looked away, his cheeks heating up. For a moment he felt as if he was being played with. He darted a nervous glance towards Jongdae’s eyes. They were filled with stars and Baekhyun fixed his gaze back at the marshmallow melting in his mug. He could deeply relate to that marshmallow especially as Jongdae’s hand was still resting on his knee. 

Jongdae laughed breathlessly and raised up from the floor. For a moment Baekhyun was worried that he would drop back on the couch which would result in more delicious skinship but thankfully it didn’t happen. He watched Jongdae lazily strolled to the window and unveiled the curtain a little bit. Navy hues were slowly overtaking the greyish light of the afternoon. Jongdae sighed and stole a glance back at Baekhyun. The tips of his ears were reddened. Baekhyun assumed it was because of the chilly gust of wind coming from the window. 

“You seem awfully tense tonight, Baekhyun…” Jongdae said suddenly, his eyebrow quirked up, eyes unforgiving and honestly curious.

Baekhyun shrugged awkwardly. He wasn’t sure what he was expected to answer. “Long week, I suppose,” he stated at last.

“Filming new material for your channel?” Jongdae hummed understandably.

“I’m always filming something new.” Baekhyun perked up visibly. If there was one subject he could talk about for hours it was his channel. And maybe Jongdae too but it didn’t seem like an appropriate topic right now. 

“I don’t see a camera right now though,” Jongdae grinned broadly, sending Baekhyun’s heart somewhere to the moon. 

_Don’t say anything cheesy, don’t say anything cheesy, don’t say anything-_

“Well, I don’t meet the great national vocalist Chen every day!” _Nailed it,_ “Besides, I prefer savoring this moment by myself, I’m egotistical like that.” _Almost nailed it._ “Chen’s Nation Unite and all that jazz.” _Slightly better._

“Chen’s Nation?” repeated Jongdae slowly. There was something ridiculously hot in the way he pronounced it. And there was that hint of knowledge. “Sounds like someone did their homework and read some comments somewhere.” He wiggled his eyebrows and sat on the arm holder on the opposite side of the couch. It was all fine really because it was Jongdae’s couch after all but now Baekhyun had a perfect view of his tiny feet and slim ankles and he really didn’t need any more distractions.

Baekhyun laughed awkwardly. Mentally he rated his laugh as ‘bad but passable’. “You know me… I like to know what my fans are talking about…”

“Oh really?” Jongdae leaned forward, pushing Baekhyun backward until his back met the comfy back of the couch. He could swear that the furniture was growing smaller and smaller. 

“Yes.” _No, for fuck’s sake, you should have said no._

“Well, then surely you know the… rumors that have been going around ever since we released our videos.” The deeper voice that Jongdae used didn’t match the pink blush on his cheeks at all. Nonetheless, it was… distracting. 

With some difficulty, Baekhyun cleared his throat and eyed Jongdae suspiciously. This was new to him. Jongdae was usually pretty timid and soft and maybe if it wasn’t for his tone, Baekhyun would have assumed that he had vastly misunderstood what Jongdae was talking about. But there was a twinkle in Jongdae’s eyes, there was a tease on his tongue and Baekhyun knew this kind of behavior like the back of his hand. He straightened his back, feeling the pleasant buzz of affection and adrenaline in his veins. Damn him if he was wrong. There was no chance in hell that he would pass on such an open invitation to flirt with his crush. 

“Rumors?” he parroted. “I’ve never pegged you for a gossip girl.” Baekhyun crossed his legs and rested his hand on the palm.

For a second or two Jongdae seemed to be taken aback by the comment. The moment, however, lasted way too short and the ridiculously attractive smirk was back on his face. 

“You know what they say. Every good fiction contains a kernel of truth,” he said smugly and winked.

Baekhyun could feel his ribs rattling against each other, he could feel his lungs bursting from too much air, he could feel the impossibly tight clench around his heart. There it was. The moment of truth. With heavy tongue, Baekhyun ultimately swallowed his pride and parted his lips. 

“Oh really?” he asked, his tongue heavy. “And what about these rumors? Which part of them do you deem as consistent with reality.” 

He didn’t expect the sudden movement, he didn’t expect that it would be Jongdae who would take the initiative. He didn’t expect that the warmth of Jongdae’s hand would land on his knee again and - above all - Baekhyun didn’t expect the press of chapped lips against his own. He froze. His mind went blank and his body stopped working. Pressure against his lips increased but he couldn’t move, his eyes remaining open. 

The only coherent thought that was left in Baekhyun’s head was that Jongdae’s eyelashes were indeed long. 

And just as suddenly as before, Jongdae was moving away, his eyelids revealing his eyes and showing the ugliest thing Baekhyun had ever seen on Jongdae’s face. Fear of rejection.

Baekhyun would have none of that - his body moved on autopilot, his palm wrapping around the back of Jongdae’s nape, his nose drawing in a sharp inhale of Jongdae’s subtle cologne, his lips searching for chapped ones to give something in return, to re-assure. Just a brief press of his lips against Jongdae’s. He could feel the sharp breath-in, the way muscles under his fingers relaxed as if until then Jongdae wasn’t sure if he was allowed to be there. Before Baekhyun could feel more, could taste more - Jongdae leaned back once again while his hand rested next to Baekhyun’s hip. 

They were still close, painfully close and Baekhyun couldn’t help but stroke the back of Jongdae’s neck relishing in the way he shuddered under his touch, the way his eyes fluttered. Baekhyun's lips broke out in a smile - crooked, rectangular and so blissful. Upon seeing that Jongdae let out of deep sigh of relief. 

“So... We're on the same page with this?” He asked vaguely pointed between himself and Baekhyun. 

“On what exactly?” Pried Baekhyun, comfortably leaning his forehead against Jongdae's. It felt so good, so god damned natural to sit like that. His heart was about to burst but strangely - his mind was at peace. 

Jongdae’s nose scrunched and Baekhyun thought that maybe not today but next time it happens, he would lean in a kiss the scrunch away because it was almost begging him to do it. Not now though, now he wanted words. 

“On us, Baekhyun. We’re on the same page, right?” Jongdae sighed, his skin positively burning under Baekhyun’s fingertips. 

“Like you kissing the corner of my lips and then proceeding to kiss my lips?” Baekhyun grinned mercilessly. “I could destroy your entire career with that.”

This time it was Jongdae's time to snort, his lips curling up with a spark of mischief. 

“Read the comments, babe. No one’s gonna believe that you didn't want that to happen.” spat Jongdae, looking at Baekhyun behind half-lidded eyes.

It was an invitation. Open invitation once again and who was Byun Baekhyun to refuse?

And soon enough he realized that Jongdae tasted much better than bitter shame, then a sweet marshmallow or even better than Mongryong’s wet nose. Jongdae tasted incredible but the curl of his lips tasted even better.

❄

_*5 months later*_

“How many times do I have to tell you that I'm not a fit for a good YouTube content?” Kyungsoo grumbled when Baekhyun wiggled to turn off the camera. 

“Nonsense, my subscribers love you.” Baekhyun once again checked if everything recorded. Another reaction video would certainly please even the whiniest of his fans. The series had been a hit ever since he filmed watching “Pride and Prejudice” with Jongdae. 

“They don't love me as much as they love Jongdae though.” Kyungsoo smiled cheekily. 

“Well, duh.” Baekhyun raised his eyebrows unimpressed. “He's my boyfriend and he makes me happy of course they love him more.”

“As much as you love him?” teased Kyungsoo. 

Baekhyun’s movement halted and he felt blood running cold under his skin. He knew how he felt about Jongdae. He was certain that he loved him. It wasn’t just a crush, he was far too deep to call this feeling “crush”. They had been taking for a while now but somehow Baekhyun couldn't find the right words and appropriate moment to say _it._

Seeing Baekhyun’s reaction, Kyungso’s smiled shifter from teasing to something softer, more gentle, though still suggestive. 

“I’m sure that he knows already, Baek. He’s probably waiting for you to say it out loud.” He provided, rising from his seat, and crossed the room to rub Baekhyun’s arm. “And seeing how he acts around you, I'm pretty sure that he feels the same.”

“You sure?”

“More than anything.”

“More than anything what? I feel excluded.” Jongdae asked, walking into the room with a mug of tea and with Chanyeol hot on his heels. 

Just like Baekhyun imagined, Jongdae was a missing puzzle of their group. He fitted in perfectly, easily the tension when their bickering was going too far and putting up the spirits whenever they needed. He shared Chanyeol’s sense of humor and had no trouble with getting along with Kyungsoo’s strange silence. Nowadays it was almost impossible for the three of them to meet without Jongdae. And something about it warmed up Baekhyun’s heart and cheeks. He felt himself smiling dumbly at his boyfriend.

“What?” Jongdae quirked up his eyebrow, “If you wanted tea you should have asked me sooner.” he shrugged, lowering the mug on the table.

Suddenly everything around them ceased to that moment. It was like the world stopped as Baekhyun took in Jongdae’s look, the way he was standing, the way his fingers were curled around the handle of the mug. Enchanting, beautiful, and now - a part of Baekhyun’s life. Seriously, why did he wait for so long?

“I love you.” Baekhyun blurted. The words on his tongue felt heavy with tension and sincerity. 

Like through a thick veil, he could hear and loud slap as Kyungsoo dragged his hand across his face. Perhaps he thought that it wasn’t the best time for Baekhyun to confess. Too bad because Baekhyun was already on it.

“I love you, Jongdae.” he repeated, this time much firmer. With a corner of his eye, he could see Chanyeol tugging Kyungsoo’s sleeve.

Seconds later, there were only two souls in the room - Baekhyun and gaping on his Jongdae. He looked like a goldfish - blank minded and gasping for air. It wasn’t the reaction Baekhyun hoped to get out of his boyfriend. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. Maybe Kyungsoo was wrong, maybe-

Jongdae huffed out voiceless laughter.

“Seriously, out of all people, you’re the only one who would find it suitable to say such a thing on a moment like that.” Jongdae took a step forward. Baekhyun took it as a good omen. 

“I was feeling brave.” 

“Obviously,” Jongdae snorted and the next moment he was right it front of Baekhyun - their noses almost touching, their breaths tangling together. 

Jongdae’s eyes were bright but unforgiving. He was waiting, _expecting_ something while all Baekhyun could think of was leaning in and placing a kiss on his curled-up lips. It took him a second, maybe two to realize that he could do that. He had been doing that for almost half a year now. The motion never failing to excite him.

He felt himself drifting forward, anticipation pooling in his stomach, familiar tingling already puckering his lips when suddenly Jongdae’s finger landed on Baekhyun’s mouth.

“I want you to say it again.” declared Jongdae quietly, looking right into Baekhyun’s shining eyes. “Once again, without any witnesses, without the camera, without the element of surprise. Just look at me and say it again so I could say it back.”

Something in Baekhyun’s chest swelled, something akin to pride but mostly - happiness. Overwhelming, dizzying happiness. He placed a tiny kiss on Jongdae’s fingertip.

“I love you, Jongdae. I’ve been loving you for a while now.” he said, drinking the change in Jongdae’s facial expression.

The slight surprise - in his eyes - that he was able to convince Baekhyun to do it so easily. The shock - in his blush - of hearing it for the third time in a span of 10 minutes. Finally the love - that was reshaping Jongdae’s face in the portray of beaming sun.

“And I love you too, Baekhyun.” said Jongdae easily, pulling a satisfied chuckle out of Baekhyun’s throat.

His finger slid easily into the hair on the back of Baekhyun’s neck. His eyes fluttered shyly as Baekhyun licked his lips before nosing at Jongdae’s hand and bringing their lips together. His lips instinctively parted when Baekhyun pressed himself closer. 

The red light of the camera winked at them. 

❄

“Baekhyun for god’s sake, take that camera away from my face.” Jongdae groaned in the morning, covering his face with a pillow.

“And what do I do with it?”

“Shove it up your ass for all that I care.” Jongdae’s head peeked out for a moment, only to stick out his tongue towards the lens. He was perfectly aware that this part would certainly make it into Baekhyun’s vlog. “Dating a youtuber is all fun and games until he runs out of video ideas. Can’t you film another let’s play or something?” 

Baekhyun made an offended noise at the back of his throat and pouted audibly. 

“I’m not a gamer, I’m a vlogger and vloggers do vlogs,” he argued stubbornly. “I want to show some part of my world to my lovely baekhyunists. It’s not my fault that you happen to be my world.”

Jongdae slapped his hand over the lens and threw away the pillow. He was blushing furiously but his frown softened a little bit as he stared at Baekhyun.

“God, you are so cheesy,” he grumbled. “Turn off that stupid camera for a moment.”

Sighing in a half-annoyed, half-amused manner, Baekhyun put his hand over Jongdae’s and slipped the lid to cover the lens. 

Yes, he liked sharing his daily life with the world. But there were parts that he still preferred to keep only for himself. 

Like that little noise that Jongdae made when Baekhyun sucked on his tongue.

_The end._


End file.
